FF7 meets Scylla
We find Vincent, Cid and Yuffie at home as always....*sigh*....
*Sigh* since the
Cid: -broke your big screen TV--
Cid: --what should we do today?
Voice: May I make a suggestion? Cid: Who the #$^% are you?!
Yuffie: (whacks Cid upside the head) The authoress, you idiot!
Vincent: So whats your suggestion, boss?
Voice: Well, let me "zap" myself over there...(bright flash of light)
Yuffie: Aaah! Im blind!
Vincent: Yuffie, if youre covering your eyes again, I'm gonna have to kill you..
Yuffie: (removing hands) I can see!
Teka: (wearing baggy jeans and big T-shirt) Hey guys!
Cid: Whoa baby!
Teka and Yuffie: *Sweatdrop*
Teka: Hey! I know youre just doing that cuz you dont want me to hurt you, so stop.
Cid: OK (pulls out a cigarette).
Teka: (bonks him on the head with a rubber chicken) Dont smoke!
Vincent: So what was your suggestion, fair lady?
Teka: *Giggle* Uh...oh yeah! How about we and...a friend of mine, go out for pizza or something?
Cid: Count me in!
Vincent: (a bit suspicious) Whos your "friend"?
Vincent: Gawd in heaven! (collapses)
Teka: Oops...*shrug* oh well. Hey Cid, can you carry him to the pizza parlor?
Cid: OK (carries Vincent like a sack of potatoes) Oof! Ya need to cut down on the midnight blood there Vincent!
Vincent: (mumbling in sleep) I....am....not...a vampire....
At Pizza Hut [Making it great!]
Yuffie: Im going next door to play video games, alright?
Scylla: Ill be there later! (Yuffie leaves for the arcade) So Vincent, how ya been?
Vincent: *Gulp* F-fine...
Scylla: Oh, so I guess Teka here isnt following my example, huh?
Teka: Huh? What? Whatever...Im seeing how many pizza slices Cid can eat before he explodes...
Cid: 43....(shoves the slice in his mouth)[Why do you men do this? I really want to know!]
Scylla: Well, Vincent, Im going to have to show you what pain really is...
Vincent: Please let me live!
Scylla: I don't think I will! Mwahahaha!
Teka: (Cid went to get some soda) Aw, come on! Give the guy a break!
Vincent: Please? *bambi eyes*
Scylla: (smiling)...but you get run over by a car, a motorcycle AND a camel!
Vincent: (having been run over by car and motorcycle) Aaah! Not the
camel! Anything but that!!!
Scylla: Alright Vincent...
Vincent: *Phew!* That was close!
Teka: Come on Cid! One more slice!
Cid: 102! *gulp*
Vincent: (has an itch on his arm) Huh? Oh, I have a rash...wait a second! That's no rash! Its the flesh-eating disease, Aaaah!
Teka: (putting calamine lotion on Vincent) Stop moving, itll hurt less!
Cid: 183!!! *gulp*
Teka: *Sigh* my poor lover....
Scylla: Since when was Vincent YOUR lover?! Where are my camels?! Vincent, come sit by me *smiles*.
Vincent: Argh...yes my queen...
Teka: Hey! I called him first!
Scylla: So?! I write fanfics about him!
Teka: You kill him!
Scylla: SO?! It's only because I love him!
Teka: DIE! (jumps on Scylla and they start beating each other up like Springer guests)
Vincent: Now's my chance...(tip toes away)
Teka and Scylla: Get back here!
Cid: (stops shoving pizza in his face) What about me?! I'm pretty hot too!
Teka: Oh yeah! Come here! (jumps into Cid's arms) My little blue-eyed angel!
Vincent and Scylla: *Sweatdrop*
Then....Sephiroth pops in!
Sephiroth: What am I, chopped liver?!
Teka: Hunny bunny! (jumps in his arms)
Scylla: Hey! Who said you could have him!
Teka: Shut up!
Scylla: Make me!
Teka: (STILL is Sephs arms) I dont make trash, I burn it!
Scylla: At least I dont live in it!
Teka: DIE! (attack each other once more)
Seph: So.....how bout those 49ers?
Cid: Back to work....197 *gulp*
Vincent: As long as they leave me alone, Im happy.
Seph: Hey, how about I bring in another guy that Teka admires?
Vincent: Sure! Her and Scyllas tastes are the same...so I might get out of this alive!
Seph: But you owe me....(flash of light and James from Team Rocket appears)
James: Surrender now...err....where am I?
Vincent: The 10th level of hell...
Cid: That just about *gulp* sums it up, 203!
Teka: (notices James) (really high pitch) Oh my Gawd! (jumps in his arms) Hello handsome....I love you!
James: Everybody loves me...heh, heh...
Scylla: What a freak....Vincent! Back to the lab! We must prepare for tomorrow night!
Vincent: *Sigh* Whatd we gonna do tomorrow night?
Scylla: Try to kill you in one chapter! Mwahahaha!
Vincent: Doh!....but we have to wait for Yuffie!
Much, much, MUCH later...
Teka: (to Scylla) And hes really cute, and did I mention I think James is
Scylla: Yes! Just shut up!
Teka: Make me!
Scylla: I dont--now dont start that again!
Teka: ME?! As if!
Scylla: Calling me a liar?!
Teka: No...Im calling you...a Vincent hater!
Scylla: Come here! (they fight again)
Vincent: I got 10 gil on Scylla.
James: My moneys with the black-haired chick.
Teka: Is it too hard to remember my name?! (continues fighting)
Seph: (has two large buckets of popcorn) Look guys, I got us some popcorn!
James: Cool! (takes one) Would you like some popcorn?
Vincent: Sure...*crunch* Aaah! Its poisoned!
Scylla: You will never escape from me!
Back at Seventh Heaven....
Yuffie: I was just winning!
Cid: Kid, you lost ALL of your materia and money. Leave it be.
Yuffie: Waah! Oh well....hey, since you ate the popcorn, wouldnt you also be dead?
James: (as ghost) Now my beauty will never be appreciated! *weeps*
Teka: I have an idea!
Scylla: What now?
Teka: Have you read the fics at Rocket Town that mention the "Instant Plot Device"?
Vincent and Cid: Just add water!
Seph: Shut up!
Scylla: Yeah...oh! I get it! Let's go find one!
The next morning....
Teka: (holding the instant plot device)
Cloud: (out of nowhere) Just add water!
Teka: Shut up!
Cloud: Aaah! (leaves)
Teka: So how does...err, do ya....which button is it again?
Scylla: Give me that! (takes it) Its quite simple really...all you have to do is....who cares! (thrws it against the wall and it starts glowing).
Everyone: Uh-oh... (it explodes in huge flash of light and Scylla finds herself in a rather comfortable Lazy-Boy recliner)
Seph: (wearing a swimsuit only) How may we serve you?
Scylla: Uh....wheres Teka?
James: (ditto on the swimsuit) Teka? Who are you speaking about, our goddess?
Seph: We live to serve only you!
Vincent: (also in swimsuit)And be mauled whenever and by whomever you chose!
Scylla: Ooo...I like this!
Teka: Where am I?!
Cid: You have entered.....the Twilight Zone.....
The end ^_^ until next time...mwahahahahaha!
Ha ha ha ha ha...... what a fic! You've got a fan fic now! Thanks for doing this Teka! Go back to the main surprise page