This is just a crazy little fic I wrote in honor on my dear friend, Scylla (*wave*) hope you like it!
Mini-note: I hope the writer named Cloud does not mind me metioning the "Instant Plot Device" since its his idea.

FF7 meets Scylla

We find Vincent, Cid and Yuffie at home as always....*sigh*....

Cid: *Sigh* since the brat--
Yuffie: Hey!
Cid: -broke your big screen TV--
Vincent: Grrr...
Cid: --what should we do today?
Voice: May I make a suggestion? Cid: Who the #$^% are you?!
Yuffie: (whacks Cid upside the head) The authoress, you idiot!
Cid: Oh...
Vincent: So whats your suggestion, boss?
Voice: Well, let me "zap" myself over there...(bright flash of light)
Yuffie: Aaah! Im blind!
Vincent: Yuffie, if youre covering your eyes again, I'm gonna have to kill you..
Yuffie: (removing hands) I can see!
Teka: (wearing baggy jeans and big T-shirt) Hey guys!
Cid: Whoa baby!
Vincent: Awooooo!
Teka and Yuffie: *Sweatdrop*
Teka: Hey! I know youre just doing that cuz you dont want me to hurt you, so stop.
Cid: OK (pulls out a cigarette).
Teka: (bonks him on the head with a rubber chicken) Dont smoke!
Cid: ?^$%@%$#&.........
Vincent: So what was your suggestion, fair lady?
Teka: *Giggle* Uh...oh yeah! How about we and...a friend of mine, go out for pizza or something?
Yuffie: Yeah!
Cid: Count me in!
Vincent: (a bit suspicious) Whos your "friend"?
Teka: Uh...Scylla...
Vincent: Gawd in heaven! (collapses)
Teka: Oops...*shrug* oh well. Hey Cid, can you carry him to the pizza parlor?
Cid: OK (carries Vincent like a sack of potatoes) Oof! Ya need to cut down on the midnight blood there Vincent!
Vincent: (mumbling in sleep) I....am....not...a vampire....
Cid: *Sigh*

At Pizza Hut [Making it great!]

Yuffie: Im going next door to play video games, alright?
Scylla: Ill be there later! (Yuffie leaves for the arcade) So Vincent, how ya been?
Vincent: *Gulp* F-fine...
Scylla: Oh, so I guess Teka here isnt following my example, huh?
Teka: Huh? What? Whatever...Im seeing how many pizza slices Cid can eat before he explodes...
Cid: 43....(shoves the slice in his mouth)[Why do you men do this? I really want to know!]
Scylla: Well, Vincent, Im going to have to show you what pain really is...
Vincent: Please let me live!
Scylla: I don't think I will! Mwahahaha!
Teka: (Cid went to get some soda) Aw, come on! Give the guy a break!
Vincent: Please? *bambi eyes*
Scylla: Fine...
Vincent: Yoo-hoo!
Scylla: (smiling)...but you get run over by a car, a motorcycle AND a camel!
Vincent: D'oh!


Vincent: (having been run over by car and motorcycle) Aaah! Not the camel! Anything but that!!!
Scylla: Alright Vincent...
Vincent: *Phew!* That was close!
Teka: Come on Cid! One more slice!
Cid: 102! *gulp*
Vincent: (has an itch on his arm) Huh? Oh, I have a rash...wait a second! That's no rash! Its the flesh-eating disease, Aaaah!
Scylla: Mwahahaha....

MUCH later....

Teka: (putting calamine lotion on Vincent) Stop moving, itll hurt less!
Vincent: Ow...ow...ow...OW!....ow....
Cid: 183!!! *gulp*
Teka: *Sigh* my poor lover....
Scylla: Since when was Vincent YOUR lover?! Where are my camels?! Vincent, come sit by me *smiles*.
Vincent: Argh...yes my queen...
Teka: Hey! I called him first!
Scylla: So?! I write fanfics about him!
Teka: You kill him!
Scylla: SO?! It's only because I love him!
Teka: DIE! (jumps on Scylla and they start beating each other up like Springer guests)
Vincent: Now's my chance...(tip toes away)
Teka and Scylla: Get back here!
Vincent: D'oh!
Cid: (stops shoving pizza in his face) What about me?! I'm pretty hot too!
Teka: Oh yeah! Come here! (jumps into Cid's arms) My little blue-eyed angel!
Vincent and Scylla: *Sweatdrop*

Then....Sephiroth pops in!

Sephiroth: What am I, chopped liver?!
Teka: Hunny bunny! (jumps in his arms)
Scylla: Hey! Who said you could have him!
Teka: Shut up!
Scylla: Make me!
Teka: (STILL is Sephs arms) I dont make trash, I burn it!
Scylla: At least I dont live in it!
Teka: DIE! (attack each other once more)
Seph: So.....how bout those 49ers?
Cid: Back to work....197 *gulp*
Vincent: As long as they leave me alone, Im happy.
Seph: Hey, how about I bring in another guy that Teka admires?
Vincent: Sure! Her and Scyllas tastes are the same...so I might get out of this alive!
Seph: But you owe me....(flash of light and James from Team Rocket appears)
James: Surrender now...err....where am I?
Vincent: The 10th level of hell...
James: Really?
Cid: That just about *gulp* sums it up, 203!
Teka: (notices James) (really high pitch) Oh my Gawd! (jumps in his arms) Hello handsome....I love you!
James: Everybody loves me...heh, heh...
Scylla: What a freak....Vincent! Back to the lab! We must prepare for tomorrow night!
Vincent: .....
Scylla: *Ahem*!
Vincent: *Sigh* Whatd we gonna do tomorrow night?
Scylla: Try to kill you in one chapter! Mwahahaha!
Vincent: Doh!....but we have to wait for Yuffie!
Scylla: Fine...

Much, much, MUCH later...

Teka: (to Scylla) And hes really cute, and did I mention I think James is hot?
Scylla: Yes! Just shut up!
Teka: Make me!
Scylla: I dont--now dont start that again!
Teka: ME?! As if!
Scylla: Calling me a liar?!
Teka: No...Im calling you...a Vincent hater!
Scylla: Come here! (they fight again)
Vincent: I got 10 gil on Scylla.
James: My moneys with the black-haired chick.
Teka: Is it too hard to remember my name?! (continues fighting)
Seph: (has two large buckets of popcorn) Look guys, I got us some popcorn!
James: Cool! (takes one) Would you like some popcorn?
Vincent: Sure...*crunch* Aaah! Its poisoned!
Scylla: You will never escape from me!
Vincent: Doh!
Cid: ZzzzzzZZzzzz.....

Back at Seventh Heaven....

Yuffie: I was just winning!
Cid: Kid, you lost ALL of your materia and money. Leave it be.
Yuffie: Waah! Oh well....hey, since you ate the popcorn, wouldnt you also be dead?
James: (as ghost) Now my beauty will never be appreciated! *weeps*
Everyone: *Sweatdrop*
Teka: I have an idea!
Scylla: What now?
Teka: Have you read the fics at Rocket Town that mention the "Instant Plot Device"?
Vincent and Cid: Just add water!
Seph: Shut up!
Scylla: Yeah...oh! I get it! Let's go find one!
James: D'oh!

The next morning....

Teka: (holding the instant plot device)
Cloud: (out of nowhere) Just add water!
Teka: Shut up!
Cloud: Aaah! (leaves)
Teka: So how does...err, do ya....which button is it again?
Scylla: Give me that! (takes it) Its quite simple really...all you have to do is....who cares! (thrws it against the wall and it starts glowing).
Everyone: Uh-oh... (it explodes in huge flash of light and Scylla finds herself in a rather comfortable Lazy-Boy recliner)
Scylla: Huh?!
Seph: (wearing a swimsuit only) How may we serve you?
Scylla: Uh....wheres Teka?
James: (ditto on the swimsuit) Teka? Who are you speaking about, our goddess?
Scylla: Godess?!
Seph: We live to serve only you!
Vincent: (also in swimsuit)And be mauled whenever and by whomever you chose!
Scylla: Ooo...I like this!


Teka: Where am I?!
Cid: You have entered.....the Twilight Zone.....
Teka: Aaah!

The end ^_^ until next time...mwahahahahaha!

Ha ha ha ha ha...... what a fic! You've got a fan fic now! Thanks for doing this Teka! Go back to the main surprise page